This is just my little collection of great quotes that I put on the net for you to enjoy. Feel free to use these quotes for your own site but please give credit. Please enjoy!



Randomness



2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.


A baby sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.


A little boy was saying his bedtime prayers with his mother: "Lord, bless Mommy and Daddy, and God, GIVE ME A NEW BICYCLE!!!" Mom: "God's not deaf, son. Boy: "I know, Mom, but Grandma's in the next room, and she's hard of hearing!


Bacteria: the only culture some people have.


Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.


Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.



Marriage



Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked. -Kimberley Broyles


Marriage - is an expensive way of getting your laundry done for free.


Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. -Erma Bombeck


Mrs. Squiffy decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant." "But you are not wearing any of those things." "I know," said Mrs. Squiffy. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry, and I want his new wife to go nuts looking for the jewelry."


Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.


I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Rita Rudner


In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner





Life



Life is a roller coaster. You can either scream every time you hit a bump or you can throw your hands up in the air and enjoy it.


Life is hard, no one makes it out alive.


Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know when you'll find a nut.

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. Christopher Morley



Children and Childhood



Childhood is that wonderful time of life when all you need do to lose weight is to take a bath.


Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. -Bill Cosby


Anyone who uses the phrase 'easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried taking candy from a baby. -Unknown


People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. -Leo J. Burke


Children go through four life stages with dads:
1) They call you da-da.
2) They call you daddy.
3) They call you dad.
4) They call you collect


Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.


Children are natural mimics. They act like their parents in spite of every attempt to teach them good manners.